My New Year’s Tech Resolutions

I think it’s only appropriate to make some  New Year’s Tech Resolutions.  This will be my first set of specifically “Tech Resolutions,” so we can easily go back next year and see how well I did.  I will have no excuses!

I’m a very realistic and practical guy, so these will be resolutions I fully expect to accomplish and within what I sincerely believe to be my ability level.  Also, they are in no particular order, but I will limit them to ten.  So, let ’em rip:

1.  I will not replace my aging Blackberry Curve and get an iPhone no matter how much my friends bug me.

2.  I will get my wife to attend her first one-to-one session at Apple so our whole family will be Mac (you may not realize how long I’ve been working on this, but I think I’m close!).

3.  I will figure out what the Top 50 NetLingo Acronyms mean, like: 8, 143, AEAP, ASL, F2F, HAK, KOTL, MOS* (I do know this one and it is funny!…I will give it away at the end of this post), P911, IMHO, RBTL, SOL, DILLIGAS, and so many more (most of these are clean and ALL are real and ubiquitous!)

4.  I will learn to text as fast as my kids so they stop making fun of me and grab my phone away and do it for me.  It’s getting really embarrassing!

5.  My Radio Show, “The Bruce Sallan Show – A Dad’s Point-of-View,” will be the first radio show broadcast on Mars due to the special technology I will encourage my rock ‘n’ roll son to develop between working on his music for his band, looking for a minimum wage job, and otherwise leading the exemplary slacker life he presently does so very well.

6.  I will figure out, all by myself, how to program our DVR recorder instead of begging and/or bribing my younger son to do it for me.

7.  My IQ, due to the new computer-enhanced diet I will develop, will become on par with Stephen Hawkins and I will be able to read minds.

8.  Using enhanced Bio-Feedback techniques, along with radical imaging technology and micro implant chips that I will discover on a trip to India, I will no longer require sleep.

9.  After getting the feedback we’ve gotten on the I Have to Change My Printer Cartridges AGAIN rant, I’ve decided to invent printer cartridges that never run out of ink.

10.  I will finally put to rest this silly notion that the Dad character in “It’s a Tech World After All” has anything at all to do with me!

Okay, I think that’s it.  I don’t think I set the bar too high, do you?

*MOS means Mother-Over-Shoulder