I’m Afraid to Take It Out of the Box

Okay you young tech guys; let’s get some context here.  When I was a kid, I opened the toys I got right away.  I couldn’t wait to get to my box of log cabin logs.  I strapped on my Roy Rogers gun set and was testing my quick draw instantly.  Of course, my Etch-A-Sketch immediately was ripped open and used to draw the Superman “S.”

Granted I’m a child of the fifties and sixties, but I do know what Twitter is; heck, I’ve got over 3,000 followers now!  I have a Facebook profile and a Facebook page with “likes” from all over the world.  I rely on e-mail and, frankly, love it, though I still am trying to understand what Spam has to do with anything as I thought it was canned food.  My cell-phone is with me at all times and I even know how to auto-dial though I can’t adjust the volume on my “smart phone.”  Maybe it’s my hearing?

The problem I have now is frankly; I no longer want to open the box.  I read or hear about the next new techie thing, like a digital camera, and eventually I figure I should get one.  So, as with my first digital camera, I buy it, bring it home and place it somewhere prominently on my desk.

The box really looks nice.  Later, I move it closer to me.  I read everything on the box.  It seems easy.  I’ll wait another day or so.  Two weeks later, I take a sip of the beer I got to bolster my courage and … I open the box.  Everything is wrapped separately and everything is tied with twistees, so I get all the parts arranged neatly and then open the instruction manual.  Now, I’m sweating.  I finish the beer.  I take a big breath…and I put it all back in the box.  I’ll deal with this another day.

A couple of weeks later, after the 3rd beer this time, I take it all out again and try to work it per the diagram on the multi-language manual or instruction folder that unfolds larger than the size of my desk.  Oh, but I have to charge it overnight…another respite and stay-of-execution!

The next time, I unplug it and it is fully charged.  Wow. I start trying to figure it out.  I get stuck.  I ALWAYS get stuck.  I read the instructions again.  I even read them in Spanish, though I speak no Spanish.  I try this.  Then that.  Again.  I take another big breath.  I try again.  Nada.

I put it all in back in the box.  I ignore the label saying if you have trouble, don’t return, and call this number for customer service.  Forget that.  I pull out my old 35mm camera.  It feels good in my hands.  I play with the familiar buttons.  I look through the lens finder.  This feels better.  I’m safe again.